Disagreement

Zipper and Button were at it again, and Snaps and Safety Pin were getting fed up.  "I'm better than you are!  I'm better than you are!" Zipper chanted for the umpteenth time.  "I'm more stylish than you are!  I'm more stylish than you are!" Button chanted for the umpteenth time.  Because they chanted at the same time, it especially annoyed Snaps to have to hear "more better than you", which was clearly just bad grammar.  Safety Pin finally shouted, "I've had ENOUGH!  Whoever The Hand takes next wins!"  Shockingly, Zipper and Button agreed to this.  "I'll wager 10 stick pins on Zipper!" shouted Needle, which, because the stick pins were relatives, caused an uproar.  "I'll wager 11 Spools on Button!" almost shouted Bobbin, before remembering his romantic entanglements with pretty much all of them.  "No damn wagers!!" hollered Measuring Tape, and they all quieted down because she ruled.  Finally, after days of waiting and jostling and hushed whispers and secret wagers, The Hand finally approached ... and took Safety Pin. "I KNEW it!" shouted Snaps to Safety Pin; "Whoopee!!!". "Cushion!" shouted Safety Pin back, in a favorite joke.  Zipper and Button would have started a fight, but Velcro made a farting noise ("It was just that sound!  I'm good at that!" Velcro insisted ...) and everyone couldn't stop laughing, and really, they were all pretty good at holding things together, weren't they?